Anxious!

Ahhh I'm leaving today :)

Super nervous, anxious, excited, and a bit of the butterflies...

I can't believe I'm leaving today, we have to drive to New York.

Our flight isn't until 5, that means I'm gonna have time to be even more nervous and excited.

Betsey... Oh how I need you!

So wishing I had this bag right now!!!

I am leaving tomorrow for London :) but I can't fit my carry-on things in my backpack and medium sized travel tote :(

I need a big big cute carry on bag to put alllll my cool stufffff...

I was considering making on out of a T-Shirt, but ehhhh IDK

It most likely wouldn't hold all my things, and end up breaking, which wouldn't be cool.

Now I am forced to fit everything in my wee little bags.

In the Mist of Summer

While writing my friend back on facebook I stumbled upon my old school mates pictures. They are all laughing, having a good time in there bikinis and just being caught up in summer. I sooooo wish I was there, I wish I could throw on a bikini and go to the beach. I wish I had friends who would invite me to a bon fire and we'd all get drunk and have the times of our young lives.
There's so much I feel like I am missing out on. All I do is art. I don't have friends who party or go out. I'm missing my teen years. I don't ever do anything exciting and different. I won't ever feel comfortable in my own body around other people. I can't even feel comfortable around my parents. Everyone seems to have a say on my body except me. Like it's not even mine. I feel so shy and helpless. Just for a day I would like to experience life as a crazy, wild party teenager.

I can't even believe I am saying I want to be like them.

I guess I am saying I wish I was a popular/in the "in crowd"

The Virgin Suicides

What can I say?

The Virgin Suicides...

It's so different and surreal.

I understand the concept, but it's still a bit foggy.

The boys never understand why the Lisbon girls kill themselves and I guess no one really is suppose to.

It shocked me when they all ended up committing suicide.

I guess I didn't think it would actually happen.

I can't imagine how parents would feel if all their children committed suicide.

The mother kept the girls secluded in the house because Lux came home late.

It would be insane for any person to be in that type of situation, especially if you were young, and I get why they killed themselves.

Well in a way I get it, but I don't get everything.

I feel like this should be a true story...

10 billion years later...

After care full searching, I found that the Virgin Suicides was loosely based on a true story.

I read this one anonymous comment, apparently from one of the suicide girls, saying she was outraged about the book/movie.

How it didn't show the aftermath of the suicides... blah blah

Oh and how it was only attempted suicide, no one died and the book over dramatized about everything.

I don't know if I can trust this comment to be real but it sounds good enough.

And it really doesn't matter.

All five

And then there were four

TiLF

I had a dream about my teacher!! At least I think it was TCG but I can't really remember. It might have been this other teacher I was totally crushing on.

So he was in my room, I'm not sure doing what or even why, and I just took a shower and opened my door and thought he was gone but he was still there! I screamed and freaked out, but I don't think he realized it. He kind of just stood there for a while and I closed my door immeditally. And finally he left. I doubt this is a very aqurate retelling of my dream since they are very short and go backwards. But I do remember he was wearing a pink button up and gray or black pants. Very put together and gorgeous.

Kinda like Chris Pine :)

-2 :]]

Whoot whoot!! I lost 2lbs from yesterday!!! Making it a total of 9lbs so far. I am super excited, I haven't really lost weight in my entire life. I've always just gained throughout the years. I'm pretty sure the 2lbs will come back, I only lost them because I wasn't feeling well yesterday and I didn't eat much. That makes me sad, but if I am destined to lose it I will. I was so inspired by my 2 pounder I decided to work out. Although it only lasted 22 mins, it was a hell of a workout!

I'm scared to weigh myself again. I fear that the pounds are gonna come back... :(

Desperate for more Desperate Housewives!

I just finished season 5 of Desperate Housewives, it was a very good ending.

I am so happy they didn't leave it as one of those stupid to be continued things. I hate when shows leave there seasons like that.

So it ends up with Mike at the ulter with a bride in this long gorgeous veil and it covers her identity. It's either between Susan or Katherin. I highy suspect Susan, it's so clear that they are ment to be. When he kissed her at the accident it just made it even more obvious.

I am so happy I am finished the show (for now), I can finally do my summer work without having this on my mind.

Funny thing, I keep having dreams about the show. In my dreams I am one of the girls, usually Gaby, she's the prettiest and my favorite, and it's really weird how I'm just living in the show. Last night I had a dream that Carlos turned our house into a cruise ship. Something like that, and I/Gaby got really pissed so for revenge I made him go into an empty room while I had my lavish part. It sounds weird because I can't quite remember every detail, but I do remember that my friends pool turned into the pool of a cruise ship. We just walked out onto her deck and she had like 5 hottubs and two big pools. It was really cool.

Bitch Away

God where do I start?

I have 16 days until I leave for my one and only vacation a year. This has been planned for about 5 or 6 months already and just about everything is taken care of. Until now. I had asked my friend to watch my guniea pig about 3 months ago and she had said yes. But just to be sure I reminded her about it last month and she was still up for it. Then today I rererecomforming it and she bailes!!!!!! She tells me how she is going on vacation on the 21st (all of a sudden), what the fuck? I had this planned with her so long ago and she doesn't even tell me she has other plans. What the hell is wrong with her?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm soooo pissed. I kind of didn't want her watching my guniea pig, but she was the only one I could think of. But wow, this is the last time I trust her with anything big. What a flake.

Vin Diesel GAY?

Pictured here with his girlfriend and mother of his daughter Hania Riley.

I don't know what to say about the allegations of Vin (Mark)

He has a girlfriend and daughter, it doesn't seem like he would have a child with a woman if he was truly gay. I really hope he isn't, the gays already have so many hot guys. They need to leave some out for us lol.

Gay or not Vin Diesel has still got my heart!

Man V. Food ;)

I choose man, and apparently I'm not the only one.

Adam Richman is the brave man stepping into all the top pigout spots in America to feed his need for food. In this very intersting Travel Channel series Man V. Food.

There is just something about him that I find so attracting. Even when he's munching on a 72 oz stake or tearing from the hottest wings. And the weird thing is, I'm a vegietarian so this should gross me out. It does at times when he's looking at a dead pig cut in half but I try to remember he has his beliefs and I have mine. Watching his show makes me not want to eat, whenever he's stuffing all that food away I feel like I'm feeling the fullness haha. He is really adorable though...

I have to admit I watch the show mainly because of him.

Ohhhh the things I'll watch for a guy :)

While I was searching for him online, I found out that he acts! Haha how interesting is that?

Maybe that's why all the girls kiss him on the show.

He has been on a couple of shows, nothing serious but just one day parts. And he does or did theater. That's pretty awesome. I admire a man who can shove a 7lbs burger down and stand infront of a crowd to perform.

So in this Man v. Food, Man has definitly won!!

(Well, won my heart)

Dinner With the Family

I always enjoy dinner with my whole family (well at least with most of the ones that live in this area), I just love having all these people around. Things are so much more interesting and fun, my cousin Malissa and her husband are moving down here. He's this very "white boy", not that into other culture's cusine. It's kind of funny to see him shy away from exotic Chinese food, while the rest of my family eats it all up. Although he isn't as into our culture as we'd like, he has gotten so much more into things than he has before. I don't know if I could marry a man who doesn't like Chinese food, I think I would want to marry a man who could even cook Chinese food lol.

My cousin and I were talking and we've realized all our family talks about is weight and being too skinny or too fat. I guess we don't have anything else juicy to talk about.

No one has married or dating a black man, no gossip to babber about.